Built the PC

And fiddling with it is more fun than playing games. But the games have been extremely fun, nonetheless.

Excercise, drinking and videogames are the only thing that let me ignore backpain for a few hours. After the exams at the end of May, I neglected my physio excercises for three weeks and binged on booze and games. As I’m now back working after the exam and holiday leave, the pain is starting to build up again. I can’t fuck without SI joint and lumbar twinges, which is a definite warning sign. I have yet to try becoming the passive recipient of penetrative sex, and ultimately may have to consider trading a stable heterosexual relationship for a submissive homosexual one if the discs continue to give me trouble. 

Trying to get back on the wagon of the physio excercises, in an attempt to build up my strength for sports/life/playing with children. While the PC is fun, I can’t really pull a 9-5 in the office, then come home for another 3-4 hours in front of a computer. So my lunchbreaks have been spent in the gym. It’s pretty lonely. It’s definitely pushed the autism quotient up a notch.

Woman went off birth control and we used rubbers and caution. She noted better mood and less bloating. I noted an increase in a deep desire to impregnate and enslave her.

Also went camping one of the weekends I was off: we do it yearly with a bunch of dudes on an island in the middle of a West Ireland lake. It’s some WB Yeats shit. Was pain free for a lot of it, despite dragging logs, chopping wood, kayaking, and other physical activities I was worried about. I put that down to the extensive amount of oats I ate, and the disdaining a stool for a squat. Feel a lot less cynical after 3 days in the woods.

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Saw a welding course for €1000, and can get government assistance to pay for it if I become unemployed. Feeling pretty happy these days. I wonder if it’s a bubble or based on a true valuation of the fundamentals.

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Turning first world problems into second-rate performance.

So, I won Employee of the Month for busy season.  Same award I got last year. Just in time for performance reviews. So I am likely to be adequate (3 rated on a bell curve of my peers). At least I could attend the celebratory dinner this year.

That, and the gaming PC which is slowly being built, are just enough to keep me from throwing myself in the woodchipper.

Woman says she no longer believes in God or gods; she is examining her faith. Having come from the other perspective, building an adult and informed opinion on your faith is vital.

Woman is also bringing up internet clickbait articles about gender relations, “rape culture” and the Elliot guy who killed a bunch of people. This and religion feeds into how I am oppressing and controlling her.

Woman has gained more weight from comfort eating, and is bringing up suicide attempts.

Worried. But it’s fine.